You’re walking down a flight of stairs carrying your baby, and a thought flashes through your mind: What if I dropped the baby? Or you’re standing in the kitchen, and you have a quick visualization about the baby being injured.

Sound familiar? You may have been shocked that you thought of such a thing. You might wonder why you thought it and what on Earth it says about you as a parent.

It says you are a normal parent.

These flashes of thought are called intrusive thoughts, and they can occur at any time during parenthood, including during the postpartum period. Intrusive thoughts after having a baby are actually common, but because the thoughts are frightening and disturbing, many parents are reluctant to talk about them.

What are Intrusive Thoughts?

These are unwanted thoughts, impulses, or visualizations that seem to appear out of nowhere. During the postpartum period, they usually center on something bad happening to the baby. For some parents, this could be the baby becoming injured, falling, or being harmed. For others, it could be about illness, accidents, making big mistakes, or contamination.

The most important word in that last paragraph is unwanted.

A scary thought that causes you distress is not the same thing as wanting that event to actually happen. Parents who experience these intrusive thoughts are usually very upset for the simple fact that the thoughts conflict so strongly with what they actually want: their baby to stay safe.

When Intrusive Thoughts Become Overwhelming

For some parents, these intrusive (we stress the word intrusive) thoughts pass quickly. For others, though, they can start to interfere with daily life. Intrusive thoughts are exactly that, though: They intrude where they are not wanted or welcome.

You might repeatedly check to make sure your baby is still breathing. You might start avoiding certain objects or rooms, and you might look for constant reassurance from your partner. Maybe you’ve started to feel afraid of being alone with the baby. Some parents can spend hours analyzing why they had an intrusive thought and trying to prove to themselves that it doesn’t mean anything.

Why Many Parents Stay Silent

The most common reason why parents often don’t tell anyone about their thoughts is that they worry that they will be misunderstood. The fear can be so powerful that it starts to create tremendous isolation. A parent can spend so much of their time wondering what kind of person thinks something so horrible.

The truth is that a normal person can have intrusive thoughts, and our trained perinatal mental health professionals understand the difference between intrusive thoughts and symptoms that could indicate a more urgent concern.

You Can Talk About Scary Thoughts With Us

When intrusive thoughts become persistent, extremely distressing, or cause repetitive checking or avoidance behaviors, they could be associated with a perinatal anxiety condition. If intrusive thoughts are causing you stress and anxiety, or are affecting your ability to care for your baby or yourself, you don’t have to work through them on your own.

At Pasadena Perinatal Therapy, we provide pregnancy and postpartum therapy in a supportive environment where parents can talk openly about difficult emotions and experiences.

Sometimes the thoughts we’re most afraid to say aloud are exactly the ones we need a safe place to discuss. Contact us today to talk with us about how perinatal therapy in Pasadena can help.