Becoming a dad is an experience that brings dramatic life changes that are full of love, joy, and pride. However, with this newfound sense of responsibility and accomplishment sometimes comes worry for fathers. Many worry that the new baby will not bond with them as strongly as they do with the mother. This common fear often breeds feelings of confusion, frustration, and isolation. It can be emotionally challenging, leaving newly formed family ties somewhat strained.

There is no doubt that the mother-baby bond is special; it’s vital to remember that the father-baby bond is no less remarkable! Pregnancy and childbirth can create a deep connection between mother and baby that fathers can have a difficult time matching, which can make dads feel left out or “second-best.”

However, just because a father’s bond with a baby is different, it is equally important. A father’s love, presence, and support are essential for an infant’s social and emotional development. Just as mothers have various types of nurturing to give, so too do fathers.

Common Fears Fathers Often Have about their Bond with Baby

There are a variety of common fears fathers often experience surrounding their relationship with their babies. Some of these include:

• Feeling left out: Dads can feel like they are missing out on important moments involving their little ones.
• Not being worthy or good enough for the baby: It’s common for fathers, at some point or another, to feel like they are not good enough for the infant or that they are unlikeable concerning the child.
• Being replaced: It’s also not uncommon for fathers to worry that the baby’s mother will become the sole preferred caretaker of the infant, leaving him feeling overlooked and not needed.

Although it may be difficult to remember, fathers should keep in mind that it is possible to overcome these fears.

Dads: Overcoming Fears of the Baby Not Liking You

The fears dads often carry are normal; however, they are also usually temporary. Following are some ways fathers can overcome those fears and secure their bond with their new bundles of joy:

• Celebrate even small victories. There are so many milestones your baby will reach in time. Be sure to recognize and celebrate even the smallest of them to strengthen your connection with your baby and build confidence in your value as a father to the child.
• Try skin-to-skin contact: This vital bonding method is not just for mothers! Feeling their dad’s skin against theirs and hearing your heartbeat helps babies feel safe as their emotions are soothed and their bond with their dad grows.
• Actively engage with them: Try to spend quality time with your baby every day as much as possible. Whether you read, play with toys, or even nap or go for a walk, every minute counts when it’s spent together.
• Don’t bottle up your feelings: Talk to your family, partner, friends, or one of us here at Pasadena Perinatal Therapy about your feelings. Sharing the emotions you’re struggling with can reduce anxiety, stress, and apprehension.
• Trust your instincts: Bear in mind that fatherhood looks different for every dad, and try not to compare the experiences of other fathers to your own. Trust yourself and do what feels right and natural for you and your little bundle of joy.

Contact Pasadena Perinatal Therapy Today

Fathers are valuable parts of their baby’s life and are needed just as mothers are! For help garnering the support, tools, and strategies needed to make the most of your bond with your baby and ward off feelings of inferiority, contact our team now.